Bell Curve The Law Talking Guy Raised by Republicans U.S. West
Well, he's kind of had it in for me ever since I accidentally ran over his dog. Actually, replace "accidentally" with "repeatedly," and replace "dog" with "son."

Wednesday, May 26, 2004

Amusing Speculation about the REAL Bush Plan

Hi Everyone,

There was a Frontline recently about the effect of religiosity on Bush. In it, one of the people being interviewed suggested that G.W. Bush believed in a “12 Step God” which he found out about while getting off the booze and blow (for the original 12 steps google them). and simply carried that over into the Post-9/11 era. In his recent speech – that no one saw – Bush outlined a 5 point plan. In that spirit, allow me to speculate about the real plan. You know, the 12 step plan for Iraq!

1. Iraqis must admit they were powerless over terrorism - that their lives had become unmanageable (at least by Iraqis).

2. Iraqis must come to believe that a power greater than themselves could restore them to sanity.

3. Iraqis must make a decision to turn their will and their lives over to the care of God as Bush understands Him in his role as God's instrument on Earth.

4. US Military Intelligence must make a searching and fearless moral inventory of the Iraqis themselves – by rounding up tens of thousands of people and actually taking an inventory, run it like a business it will be more efficient that way!

5. Iraqis must admit to God as Bush understands Him, to themselves, and to neutral country the exact nature or their wrongs.

6. Iraqis have to be entirely ready to have God as Bush understands Him remove all these defects of character - keep in mind that Bush is God's instrument on Earth.

7. The Iraqis must humbly ask Him to remove their shortcomings.

8. US Military Intelligence has made a list (see step 4) of all persons to be harmed, and has no specific plans to make amends to any of them.

9. US Military Intelligence might make direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would look bad on Al Jazera or CNN.

10. US Military Intelligence will continue to take the personnel inventory (see step 4) and when MI is wrong, promptly release the personnel in question, except when to do so would look bad on Al Jazera or CNN.

11. The American people must seek though prayer and meditation to improve their conscious contact with God as Bush understands Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power we can grant to John Ashcroft to carry that out.

12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, The President, in his role as God's instrument on Earth, calls on all Republicans to carry this message to as many voters as possible, especially in swing states, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

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