Bell Curve The Law Talking Guy Raised by Republicans U.S. West
Well, he's kind of had it in for me ever since I accidentally ran over his dog. Actually, replace "accidentally" with "repeatedly," and replace "dog" with "son."

Thursday, June 05, 2008

What if Obama and Hillary Played Poker?

So with all the shenanigans going on this week, I’ve been wondering what it would be like if Hillary and Obama played poker. Apologies to the Clinton folks out there but I come up with good jokes so rarely, I couldn't resist.

Hillary: I bet $50.
Obama: I’ll see your $50 and raise you $25.
Hillary: I’ll see your raise and raise you another $50.
Obama: Call (lays down a full house)
Hillary: (lays down a flush) I’ll raise you another $50.
Obama: I just called your bet and you lost.
Hillary: Don’t push me! How about if I raise you $25?
Obama: OK, I’m just going to take these chips here…
Hillary: THIEF!...That does it! I raise you another $50!
Obama: (gets up and starts to walk out) Hey Michelle, let’s go get some dinner. Let’s go somewhere nice, I just won some money.
Hillary: OK, we’ll split the pot.


Bell Curve said...

Love the punch line. Still, let this mark the end of Hillary-bashing on this site (not that there's been much at all). Unity unity unity!

Raised By Republicans said...

What bashing? She had a flush! I'd re-raise with a flush! ;-)

The Law Talking Guy said...

This is a riot. I know it's a bit mean, but I just love that line, "OK, I'm just going to take these chips here." At any rate, humor is healing, right?

I could add another scenario - not as funny, but makes fun of Obama:

Both candidates set down to play primary poker.
Hillary: I bet $50
Obama: I'll see your $50 and raise you $25.
Hillary: I'll see your raise and raise you another $50.
Obama: Call (lays down a Full house)
Hillary: (lays down a flush)
Hillary pays up and they redeal.
Hillary: Ante up.
Obama: Sure, it's only a quarter.
Hillary: Action is to you.
Obama: Fold.
Hillary: Damn. I had good cards. At least you put in the ante.
They deal again.
Both ante.
Hillary: Check
Obama: Fold.
Hillary: Oh come on, At least wait for the flop.
Obama: Um, no.
They deal again. Both ante.
Obama: Fold.
Hillary: I haven't even dealt yet.
Obama: (checks watch) Er, misdeal.
Obama deals only two cards, both to Hillary.
Hillary: What the f--?
Obama: I'm going to fold.
Hillary: hat the hell is wrong with you? You win a big pot and never play again. I'll never win my money back that way! Lousy sport.
Obama: Gee, it's getting late. Michelle, want to get some drinks? I'm the big winner tonight.
Hillary: Baloney! I've had better cards every single hand. All you did was win one lousy pot. (hurls chips at Obama) You couldn't play your way out of a paper bag.
Obama: (packs up his winnings) See ya later, veepinator

Raised By Republicans said...