Bell Curve The Law Talking Guy Raised by Republicans U.S. West
Well, he's kind of had it in for me ever since I accidentally ran over his dog. Actually, replace "accidentally" with "repeatedly," and replace "dog" with "son."

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Marshmallow and Yam

Today, President Bush "pardoned" two turkeys, named "Marshmallow" and "Yam" which will now go to Disneyland to be the "Marshalls" of their Thanksgiving Day Parade.

Does it seem bizarre to anyone else that the President "pardons" two turkeys--but then presumably goes on to eat at least one not-so-lucky bird two days later? Does it make anyone else queasy to see two turkeys "preside" over a parade honoring a holiday during which millions of their fellows will roasted and eaten? And does it sicken anyone else that some farmer, as if to emphasize the digestable destiny of his prize birds, chose to name these two turkeys Marshmallow and Yam?!

I probably would have ignored this silliness if I had not today also received a cheerful, animated e-card from the UCLA alumni association, in which two UCLA bears sit down at a Thanksgiving table with along with their friend--a pilgrim-hatted turkey!--and the misguided fowl lifts up the lid of the main entree to reveal... a football. The bears applaud.

Some people may find all this cute. But to me, the whole affair seems an almost psychotic retreat from reality. Turkeys do not wear pilgrim hats. Turkeys do not celebrate Thanksgiving. Turkeys are not happy and joyful on this day. The doublethink involved in having one's child cheer as an animated or pardoned turkey encourages us to enjoy Thanksgiving feels like yet another egregious example of the culture of deception in which we live.

Now don't get me wrong... Thanksgiving is a wonderful holiday and I personally enjoy eating turkey and cranberries and gathering with family and friends. I am a bona fide carnivore--I just don't fool myself. Breastmeat does not fall from the magic Butterball factory in the sky. "Drumsticks" and "wishbones" are euphemisms for thighs and the fused, avian clavicle. And the moistness in the turkey does not come from "juices."

So let us gladly give thanks to nature for her bounty. But if we are so disturbed by the thought of ritually slaughtering so many turkeys that we feel compelled to indulge in these childish deceptions to obscure from our children (and ourselves) what we are doing... perhaps we should not be eating meat at all?

85 comments:

Anonymous said...

Well, I think you lack a sense of humor. Strangelove.

However, I find it odd that the president pardons a turkey when he won't commute sentences of death row inmate. And who started this whole “pardon the Turkey “ think anyway? Shouldn’t animal rights activists be raising cane?

Think about it. What crime did the Turkey commit? Is it a crime to be unfortunately born as a Turkey? Perhaps we should call the NAACP or the ACLU to file some briefs in favor of Turkeys. I think this idea that being a Turkey is a crime should be corrected. It is a form of species profiling that should not be tolerated. And furthermore, why not pardon the New Year’s Goose and the 4th of July cow who will be turned into BBQ steak?

Doesn't pardoning Turkeys distort our justice system, leading the uninformed to believe Turkeys are criminals and only the almighty President can save them? I say eat the Turkey, but don't pardon it. Justice isn’t a joke.
 

// posted by USWest

Dr. Strangelove said...

"Well, I think you lack a sense of humor. Strangelove."

Ah, too true. But I liked the m&m commercials where the characters are trying to avoid getting eaten. Now that's funny.

Anonymous said...

I have to agree with Dr. S. in one respect: I find it very creepy when we anthropomorphize food we are about to eat.  

// posted by LTG

Anonymous said...

Last spring, I went to a very fancy restaurant and had a very delicious half-rabbit. At the time, I enjoyed it and felt no guilt.

As Easter approached, I started to feel a little queasy. I kept thinking that since I had almost certainly eaten an organic, free-range bunny, someone had told the little sucker, "OK Flopsy, you're going to go to the big city and live with the Joneses." Then snapped his wee little neck.

If the turkeys are pardoned, what do they eat at the White House? Tofurkey (not actually food)? A turkey-shaped potroast? Fried Snickers bars?

-Seventh Sister 

// posted by Anonymous

Anonymous said...

No, see, all the turkeys we kill are bad. They pose a threat to our nation's security. Therefore it's okay. 

// posted by Bell Curve

Anonymous said...

I prefer to think of the turkeys as enemy combatants. In other words, just by calling them turkeys, we can eat them. They have no rights of any kind, gobble gobble. 

// posted by LTG

Anonymous said...

"I find it very creepy when we anthropomorphize food we are about to eat."

What about communion/ritual simulated canibalism (actual canibalism if you are a believing Catholic)?

That always creeped me out big time. Far more than people putting hats on cartoon food. 

// posted by Raised By Republicans

Anonymous said...

buy ambien online without prescription can buy ambien line - overdose dosage of ambien

Anonymous said...

xanax for sale without prescription cheap xanax buy online - generic xanax imprint

Anonymous said...

buy diazepam online buy diazepam usa 10mg - diazepam alcohol withdrawal protocol

Anonymous said...

generic ativan lorazepam 1mg bula - 6 mg ativan too much

Anonymous said...

buy xanax mask xanax drug test - stronger than xanax for anxiety

Anonymous said...

diazepam overdose diazepam 10 mg uses - diazepam 2mg online

Anonymous said...

ativan cost ativan sleep addiction - ativan dosage erowid

Anonymous said...

diazepam 10mg whats the max dose of diazepam - diazepam xanax together

Anonymous said...

ambien price what does ambien test drug test - ambien 6.25

Anonymous said...

generic soma online buy somatropin in mexico - generic for sumatriptan

Anonymous said...

valium online overnight antidepressant drugs valium - valium how long does it last

Anonymous said...

buy soma generic somanabolic muscle maximizer money back - carisoprodol side effects women

Anonymous said...

buy ambien online ambien dosage supplied - ambien price on street

Anonymous said...

soma buy carisoprodol mexico - can you buy tickets soma

Anonymous said...

buy diazepam online buy valium online paypal - valium dosage muscle relaxant

Anonymous said...

soma sale buy soma online from canada - where can you buy soma online

Anonymous said...

soma buy where to order somatropin - carisoprodol overdose

Anonymous said...

ambien price ambien vs ativan insomnia - ambien dosage bluelight

Anonymous said...

buy diazepam generic valium diazepam valium mechanism action - valium 10 mg vs xanax 2mg

Anonymous said...

buy valium online street prices 10mg valium - generic valium white pill

Anonymous said...

Homeapathic Teething Medicine cheap prednisone online - cheap prednisolone http://www.prednisone4sale.com/#cheap-prednisolone

Anonymous said...

Hello, buy lipitor - generic lipitor no prescription http://www.costoflipitoronline.net/#generic-lipitor-no-prescription

Anonymous said...

Drugs Government Agency'S topiramate online - topiramate no prescription http://www.topamaxbetterprice.com/

Anonymous said...

dalsCleax cheap cipro online - cipro antibiotic http://www.ciproonlinerx.com/#cipro-antibiotic

Anonymous said...

Drug Addiction Behavior Detection cheap fluconazole - generic fluconazole no prescription http://www.diflucansaleonline.net/#generic-fluconazole-no-prescription , [url=http://www.diflucansaleonline.net/#fluconazole-online-no-prescription ]fluconazole online no prescription [/url]

Anonymous said...

Increasing Technology In Medication generic lexapro - generic lexapro cost http://www.costoflexaproonline.net/#generic-lexapro-cost , [url=http://www.costoflexaproonline.net/#generic-lexapro-no-prescription ]generic lexapro no prescription [/url]

Anonymous said...

Drug Decrease Period sibutramine online - sibutramine for sale http://www.meridiaonlineorder.net/#sibutramine-for-sale , [url=http://www.meridiaonlineorder.net/#buy-meridia ]buy meridia [/url]

Anonymous said...

Friends, fluoxetine for sale - prozac without rx http://www.prozaccheaponline.net/#prozac-without-rx , [url=http://www.prozaccheaponline.net/#fluoxetine-cost ]fluoxetine cost [/url]

Anonymous said...

buy cialis how to buy cialis online - can you buy cialis online

Anonymous said...

tfv [url=http://www.maxaltonlinesale.net/#maxalt-cost ]maxalt for sale [/url] - maxalt no prescription - maxalt online http://www.maxaltonlinesale.net/#maxalt-no-prescription ,

Anonymous said...

tmd cytotec medication - order cytotec no prescription http://www.cytoteconlinecheap.net/#cytotec-online, [url=http://www.cytoteconlinecheap.net/#cytotec-online]buy generic cytotec no prescription [/url]

Anonymous said...

rvb order fluconazole online - buy fluconazole no prescription http://www.diflucanforsaleonline.net/#buy-fluconazole-no-prescription , cheap diflucan no prescription

Anonymous said...

buy xanax online cod hair follicle drug test xanax - generic for xanax alprazolam

Anonymous said...

generic xanax what do generic xanax pills look like - withdrawal symptoms xanax use

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol online tramadol dose for high - tramadol overdose dose

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol online order tramadol online with visa - generic tramadol ingredients

Anonymous said...

Hello, order finasteride online - cheap finasteride 5mg http://www.rotu.org/#cheap-finasteride-5mg , [url=http://www.rotu.org/#cheap-generic-propecia ]cheap generic propecia [/url]

Anonymous said...

xanax online xanax and alcohol and liver - many xanax pills can take

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol online tramadol 100 mg withdrawal - tramadol online no prescription needed

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol online lethal dosage tramadol - tramadol hcl usa

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol online tramadol hcl xr 100mg - buy tramadol online new zealand

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol online tramadol 911 - tramadol 37.5/325 high

Anonymous said...

generic xanax generic xanax mylan a4 - buy xanax online cod

Anonymous said...

xanax online xanax pill press - xanax online eu

Anonymous said...

generic xanax xanax 2mg recreation - xanax for sale no prescription

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol online buy tramadol no prescription overnight - tramadol online no rx

Anonymous said...

buy carisoprodol carisoprodol 350 mg used for - carisoprodol online no prescription

Anonymous said...


2 order cymbalta - generic cymbalta cost http://www.cymbaltagenericonline.net/, [url=http://www.cymbaltagenericonline.net/]cymbalta sale [/url]

Anonymous said...

xanax online xanax side effects suicidal thoughts - xanax 5 hour energy

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol online 3 50 mg tramadol - tramadol 50 mg uses side effects

Anonymous said...

xanax online xanax drug card - different types xanax pills

Anonymous said...

buy cialis online cheap cialis in nz - cheap cialis canadian

Anonymous said...

xanax online pass drug test day xanax - does xanax show up opiate drug test

Anonymous said...

6, sumatriptan no prescription - imitrex price http://www.imitrexonlinebuy.com/#sumatriptan-without-prescription, sumatriptan without prescription

Anonymous said...

buy cialis online buy cialis soft tabs online - buy cialis online us

Anonymous said...

xanax online alprazolam 0.5mg tab purepac - buy xanax online no prescription canada

Anonymous said...

buy cialis 10mg buy cialis with dapoxetine - generic cialis vs viagra

Anonymous said...

no prescription xanax xanax side effects overdose - cost of generic xanax without insurance

Anonymous said...

cialis online cialis coupon discounts - cialis online with paypal

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol online is buying tramadol online legal - buy tramadol online overnight cod

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol 50 mg tramadol lot - what is tramadol 50mg for dogs

Anonymous said...

cheap tramadol buy tramadol online overnight cod - tramadol ultram eq 50mg

Anonymous said...

learn how to buy tramdadol buy tramadol in usa - buy tramadol online overnight cod

Anonymous said...

http://buytramadolonlinecool.com/#73892 tramadol withdrawal opiate - tramadol 100mg forum

Anonymous said...

http://landvoicelearning.com/#51438 tramadol hcl 50mg tablet amnea - buy tramadol online usa cheap

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol tramadol 37.5 high - ultram side effects headache

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol overnight delivery tramadol tooth pain - buy tramadol 6914

Anonymous said...

order lorazepam ativan abuse - how long can ativan withdrawal last

Anonymous said...

lorazepam mg expired ativan side effects - ativan dosage daily

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol online tramadol y paracetamol - tramadol for dogs what is it

Anonymous said...

buy xanax online xanax dosage blue - xanax dosage gad

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol online overcoming tramadol addiction - tramadol hcl 50 mg pill identifier

Anonymous said...

xanax no prescription online cheap generic xanax no prescription - xanax for social anxiety

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol online with mastercard tramadol dosage dogs - tramadol hcl 50 mg vs percocet

Anonymous said...

xanax sale order xanax no prescription overnight - xanax withdrawal neurontin

Anonymous said...

http://ranchodelastortugas.com/#37284 generic xanax s 902 - xanax drug half life

Anonymous said...

cheap alprazolam xanax online no prescription - xanax side effects mixed alcohol

Anonymous said...

buy xanax online 2mg klonopin 1mg xanax - xanax hangover