Bell Curve The Law Talking Guy Raised by Republicans U.S. West
Well, he's kind of had it in for me ever since I accidentally ran over his dog. Actually, replace "accidentally" with "repeatedly," and replace "dog" with "son."

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Marshmallow and Yam

Today, President Bush "pardoned" two turkeys, named "Marshmallow" and "Yam" which will now go to Disneyland to be the "Marshalls" of their Thanksgiving Day Parade.

Does it seem bizarre to anyone else that the President "pardons" two turkeys--but then presumably goes on to eat at least one not-so-lucky bird two days later? Does it make anyone else queasy to see two turkeys "preside" over a parade honoring a holiday during which millions of their fellows will roasted and eaten? And does it sicken anyone else that some farmer, as if to emphasize the digestable destiny of his prize birds, chose to name these two turkeys Marshmallow and Yam?!

I probably would have ignored this silliness if I had not today also received a cheerful, animated e-card from the UCLA alumni association, in which two UCLA bears sit down at a Thanksgiving table with along with their friend--a pilgrim-hatted turkey!--and the misguided fowl lifts up the lid of the main entree to reveal... a football. The bears applaud.

Some people may find all this cute. But to me, the whole affair seems an almost psychotic retreat from reality. Turkeys do not wear pilgrim hats. Turkeys do not celebrate Thanksgiving. Turkeys are not happy and joyful on this day. The doublethink involved in having one's child cheer as an animated or pardoned turkey encourages us to enjoy Thanksgiving feels like yet another egregious example of the culture of deception in which we live.

Now don't get me wrong... Thanksgiving is a wonderful holiday and I personally enjoy eating turkey and cranberries and gathering with family and friends. I am a bona fide carnivore--I just don't fool myself. Breastmeat does not fall from the magic Butterball factory in the sky. "Drumsticks" and "wishbones" are euphemisms for thighs and the fused, avian clavicle. And the moistness in the turkey does not come from "juices."

So let us gladly give thanks to nature for her bounty. But if we are so disturbed by the thought of ritually slaughtering so many turkeys that we feel compelled to indulge in these childish deceptions to obscure from our children (and ourselves) what we are doing... perhaps we should not be eating meat at all?

65 comments:

Anonymous said...

Well, I think you lack a sense of humor. Strangelove.

However, I find it odd that the president pardons a turkey when he won't commute sentences of death row inmate. And who started this whole “pardon the Turkey “ think anyway? Shouldn’t animal rights activists be raising cane?

Think about it. What crime did the Turkey commit? Is it a crime to be unfortunately born as a Turkey? Perhaps we should call the NAACP or the ACLU to file some briefs in favor of Turkeys. I think this idea that being a Turkey is a crime should be corrected. It is a form of species profiling that should not be tolerated. And furthermore, why not pardon the New Year’s Goose and the 4th of July cow who will be turned into BBQ steak?

Doesn't pardoning Turkeys distort our justice system, leading the uninformed to believe Turkeys are criminals and only the almighty President can save them? I say eat the Turkey, but don't pardon it. Justice isn’t a joke.
 

// posted by USWest

Dr. Strangelove said...

"Well, I think you lack a sense of humor. Strangelove."

Ah, too true. But I liked the m&m commercials where the characters are trying to avoid getting eaten. Now that's funny.

Anonymous said...

I have to agree with Dr. S. in one respect: I find it very creepy when we anthropomorphize food we are about to eat.  

// posted by LTG

Anonymous said...

Last spring, I went to a very fancy restaurant and had a very delicious half-rabbit. At the time, I enjoyed it and felt no guilt.

As Easter approached, I started to feel a little queasy. I kept thinking that since I had almost certainly eaten an organic, free-range bunny, someone had told the little sucker, "OK Flopsy, you're going to go to the big city and live with the Joneses." Then snapped his wee little neck.

If the turkeys are pardoned, what do they eat at the White House? Tofurkey (not actually food)? A turkey-shaped potroast? Fried Snickers bars?

-Seventh Sister 

// posted by Anonymous

Anonymous said...

No, see, all the turkeys we kill are bad. They pose a threat to our nation's security. Therefore it's okay. 

// posted by Bell Curve

Anonymous said...

I prefer to think of the turkeys as enemy combatants. In other words, just by calling them turkeys, we can eat them. They have no rights of any kind, gobble gobble. 

// posted by LTG

Anonymous said...

"I find it very creepy when we anthropomorphize food we are about to eat."

What about communion/ritual simulated canibalism (actual canibalism if you are a believing Catholic)?

That always creeped me out big time. Far more than people putting hats on cartoon food. 

// posted by Raised By Republicans

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